All my highschool, "career", I convinced myself that prom was out of the question and it was NOT for me! No date, no bueno with the dresses, and I suck at dancing! Perfectly logical reasons not to go right?
Seems not so. When two friends of mine asked me to go with them. Then I thought, I need to do something epic for my senior year, this could be my last chance. So I was not about to let this night become boring!
I rented a limo for the evening for my friends and I! Thinking myself a hero the dream was nearly destroyed when I was told a former group member didn't want me in the same restaurant because of a fight we got into? Dude, I don't even know. But I wasn't gonna have that crap. It was just me and my two friends, and that was fine because they stuck by me! (And who DOESN'T wanna go with the girl with the limo?)
My mom took me to get a dress, the day almost killed my self esteem. Originally when I started the trip to find a dress I said I will not get a white dress nor a ball gown.
The first dress to make me feel beautiful was a white, blinged out ball gown... who would've know?
My friends and I dined at the Melting Pot after a long photo shoot with our overly excited parents. Trying to find a decent and fun radio station to listen to on our way, drinking sodas from champagne glasses feeling fancy as all we can be, eventually ending up at the heavenly food place of glory and amazingness in our over dressed and over priced dresses and hair, thanks to my wonderful sister. Miss "Almost prom queen" got a week stomach, ate a salad and then proceeded to eat off our plates. The waiter made the mistake of not turning on the pot on hot enough when we received our entree of chicken, shrimp, and sirloin. The manager came by, noticed the chicken not fully cooked and then continued to look down my dress as he offered a whole new plate of meat to us! And might I add a free lobster? Yeah, totally happened. Dessert was like...nutella, oreos, and smores on crack. Needless to say we stuffed our face.
Finally on our way to the prom itself, seeing people hop out of limos in beautiful gowns and strapping handsome guys around their arm, while us, single ladies tripped and toppled out of the car. But still smiling. :)
As the night got louder and more crowded and crazier, my feet grew tireder and tireder and self esteem dropped slowly seeing couples together and seeing pretty skinny girls with their long gorgeous hair and I'm sitting at the table next to some gross looking couple feeling eachother up. (in Garth's voice) Eww....
It got too hot and we were all too tired so we headed home and called it a night, no crazy parties, just glorious sleep!
The next day, telling a friend how gross I felt after seeing how everyone looked at prom I then received a picture with the caption saying: Gorgeous.
Why did I not believe people when they said I looked like a princess? Great night, no regrets.
I can't tell you how much of my life I've wasted comparing myself - my body, my face, my abilities, my talents, my butt - to others. It's only been in the last few years I finally started accepting myself for me and liking who that was. Even the parts that still need work!
ReplyDeleteProm won't be the last time you look at what others have that you don't, and it won't be the last time you think someone else looks better than you. But take some advice from your OLDER and sort-of wise sister: enjoy yourself.
Enjoy YOU as God made you, curves and bright smile and quirky personality and all. Just be you and enjoy living your life. Don't waste your time being miserable - you won't be able to get those moments back.
Love you.
And PS - Your friend was right. You were and ARE incredibly gorgeous. <3