A love letter:

Dear Love,

My heart has never felt so empty. Every tear I have cried has taken bits of my heart away, a heart that has somehow always belonged to you. You watched out for me when other guys would look me up and down, you kissed me to shut me up from talking nonsense, you reassured me that I was always enough, you respected me and loved me for all that I am. All my crazy emotional unstableness, you still pulled through.

Your family, I fell in love with them all, even your obnoxious little brother. Your mom was so kind to me, and to think I was so scared she wouldn't like me! Your sister and her kids, Summer is going to be such a beautiful girl, and I know Uncle Sean will do all he can to watch out for her. Your hilarious older brother and his girlfriend, their baby will be so adorable. Crazy to think the due date is my birthday...

One thing for you to keep in mind, your sister is strong. The strongest I could know, she has made the person you have become today and for that she deserves all my thanks in the world. She gave me someone who respected and cared for me, someone who put me on such a high pedestal that even you felt you weren't enough for me. My first prayer for her and you was the day when we had to be cut off from each other. That day tore my world and my heart apart, but I asked God to keep us strong, you, me, and your sister. And I know he will.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you."-Jeremiah 29:11

This verse I carry with me daily to remind me that no matter how hard and horrible things may seem to get, there is always good to come. I would give anything in this world to spend the rest of my days with you, loving you and always being there so you can have someone to talk to. I can only pray and hope that whatever may happen that we will be in each others arms again and only have to say goodbye when we head off to work.

I ask that you stay strong for anything that may come along and try to tear you down, but that you always try to get in touch with your heart in the silence and moments that God gives you, and that it will never be too hidden that not even you can see who you are.

I have never loved so much. You were right, I never really had butterflies, neither did you, but we always felt weird with each other, a good weird. Maybe cause the honeymoon stage didn't last so long, we instinctively knew to care for the other person. I don't know when exactly that happened but it did. When you said you loved me...and you looked right into my eyes, I knew it wasn't just said because it was goodbye. I did not want to leave. I wanted to stay in your arms, but even a simple kiss was too much for our tired hearts to bare.

The world is an f***ed up place. But it's all apart of a plan that we cannot see. And we are not supposed to see. You always try to figure it out, but you get stressed and aggravated that you don't have to answers. But that's okay. It's not about getting the answer, it's about finding yourself in the question. And instead of thinking logically or instead of using your head, you let your heart speak.

When God brings your sister home, I want to be right there when you wake up the next day. I don't know how long that would be, but it's killing me already.

I love you. With every bit of my heart and until God has shown me someone else to love, I will continue to choose you every morning and to love you from a distance every night.

I love your family and I am looking forward to seeing them again.

Love,

Laura